Sunday, April 11, 2010

More Blog Fantasticness

Labour's daily blog thing is like a gift that keeps on giving. First of all, there's Gordon's really quite disturbing use of a sausage shop as a metaphor for the economy:

"...Netta Martin, who runs a cafe and take away in Alloa. Her business was under real pressure during the recession, and she saw a big fall in sales of her speciality – rolls with hot sausage (which as she rightly pointed out – should not be confused with her hot sausage rolls). But now that we are on the road to recovery, sales of Netta’s rolls are back on the increase and she is confident her business will grow this year. That’s the reality behind the statistics of the recession and recovery; sales of rolls and sausage in Alloa are up..."

And then there's Sarah's delight that, in a campaign where her husband has only met old Labour supporters in their houses or union-vetted shop workers, everyone she meets on the streets seems to be supporting Labour:

"Waking up in our house in Fife was today’s special treat, followed by a walk down Kirkcaldy High Street. We met voter after voter after voter – and all of them Labour."

Then there's a passage where Gordon, the master of detail and analysis, can't tell the difference between a two-year-old and a seven-year-old:

"Gordon has a lovely conversation with a little girl and her Mum when he asks how old she is and she says 'seven' and Gordon talks to her about all the best bits about being seven; her Mum interrupts 'but she is only two!' and Gordon says 'I’m not going to tell a girl she is not the age she wants to be! Seven it is'."

But the best bit is where Sarah crushes Ed Balls's black little heart by making it abundantly clear that Gordon has better friends:

"Good to see Pete Livingstone too – one of Gordon’s very oldest friends from school and someone who isn't sure what’s more exciting – his best friend being up for re-election as Prime Minister, or his home football team being in the semi-final of the Scottish cup tomorrow."

2 comments:

King Athelstan said...

If they love Him so much up there why don't they just keep the useless fcker to themselves?

Anonymous said...

His home team no longer being in the Scottish Cup. Team Jonah strikes again...